


Road Full of Promise

by glassclosetcastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Brotherly Bonding, Canon Compliant, Closeted Dean, Destiel if you squint - Freeform, Episode: s10e13 Coda, Fix-It, Gen, Mark of Cain, Pre-Slash, Repressed Dean, Sam Knows, not wincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 07:33:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3373088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glassclosetcastiel/pseuds/glassclosetcastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Can I ask you something?" Sam says, breaking the careful silence of the last hour or so, and Dean keeps his gaze focused out the front window of the Impala like the open stretch of road hides the answers to all of life’s big questions. He was done talking about this when they left Iowa.</p><p>"What," he asks, humoring his brother, who sighs a little again in that familiar way.</p><p>"It’s not that,” Sam says, sensing Dean’s annoyance. “I mean, yeah, I want to talk about that, but later. When you’re ready.” Dean doesn’t have it in him to respond with a biting retort. He’s too tired for that. He stays silent, waiting for Sam to continue.</p><p>"It’s just… why are you pretending to be someone you’re not?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Road Full of Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little coda for 10x13, because the episode left me feeling very uncomfortable.

"Can I ask you something?" Sam says, breaking the careful silence of the last hour or so, and Dean keeps his gaze focused out the front window of the Impala like the open stretch of road hides the answers to all of life’s big questions. He was done talking about this when they left Iowa.

"What," he asks, humoring his brother, who sighs a little again in that familiar way.

"It’s not _that_ ,” Sam says, sensing Dean’s annoyance. “I mean, yeah, I want to talk about _that,_ but later. When you’re ready.” Dean doesn’t have it in him to respond with a biting retort. He’s too tired for that. He stays silent, waiting for Sam to continue.

"It’s just… why are you pretending to be someone you’re not? Still?" Dean furrows his brow, but doesn’t reply. 

"I get it, dude. I do. I know that you’re just trying to find ways to deal with the mark," Sam says in that infuriatingly sympathetic brotherly tone that makes Dean’s skin crawl. "But look, I think you’re going about this in all the wrong ways."

Dean adjusts his grip on the steering wheel before responding. “What are you talkin’ about, Sam?” He asks, and Sam turns a little in his seat to face him head-on.

"Last week, you were basically trying to be as _un-Dean-like_ as possible, just to see if that would help lessen the effects of the mark. You started eating healthy, quit drinking, you even exercised a little. But that didn’t work, so now, you’re trying to be as _Dean-like_ as possible, or whatever you think it means to be ‘Dean Winchester.’” Dean can hear the quotation marks in his tone. 

"You’re eating all of the unhealthy, greasy food in sight, checking out every single coed… you’re avoiding Cas like the plague…” He pauses, and Dean chews the inside of his cheek to avoid making a comment.

"I see what you’re trying to do, man. You’re trying to get back to feeling like yourself again. But, dude, you’re not _that guy_ anymore. You haven’t been that guy in a long time.” He trails off, laughs a little, but there’s no humor in it. Throws his hands up in surrender, seeing the hard set of his brother’s jaw. 

"You know, I would think that after all this time… I mean, you’re 35 years old, Dean. 36 now," he remembers. They hadn’t made a big deal about Dean’s birthday this year. No one had felt much like celebrating. "I get that this is your M.O. Repression, whatever. But… I’d think that after everything that happened to you- being a demon, getting cursed by the mark-" he stops and sighs again, waving a hand vaguely in mid-air to illustrate his point, whatever it is. "I’d think that after all of that, you’d finally want to be true to yourself." 

Dean refrains from comment, keeping his eyes locked on the road, but he thinks Sam gets that his silence is permission enough to continue.

"Look man, you don’t have to talk about it with me. Hell, you don’t have to talk about it at all. Just be honest with yourself. If anything is going to make you feel like your old self again, I think being your _most authentic self_ will be it. That’s all I’m going to say.”

They drive for a few more hours in silence.

—

Later on in the drive, after they’ve stopped at an all night diner for a post-midnight meal (a grilled chicken salad for Sam, a turkey burger for Dean,) Sam allows Dean to leave the radio on a pop station without comment.

And when they finally make it back to the bunker, the sun beginning its ascent over the Missouri state line, Dean decides to give Cas a call, just to say hello.

Second chances, right?

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hey to me on [tumblr](http://glassclosetcastiel.tumblr.com)!


End file.
